Holy shit - what a week! Today was a total disaster at the 9to5 as my laptop got wiped out. Spent the first half of the day with IT trying to get my shit back so I could work. Talk about anxiety... at the end of the day I still couldn't get some files that went MIA. I didn't have time to look for them - my patients needed me to complete my PAs so they could get their meds.
So, I decided to go to the Polish store to utilize my time of driving 45 minutes one way to get my B12 stabbing - which took less than five minutes - and deal with the long drive back home. Dummy me, wondered why the hell the store was so busy. Easter weekend. Duh, all the Roman Catholics were in there buying up the deli stuff. I was there to get the pierogies and some kielbalsa... and the yummy wafer bar candies.... some peach and cherry wine... oh the lamb butter... and some other cake like desserts. Yeah, so I spent money that I didn't intend. I realized as I was in there how much I had broken away from that whole RC mindset. It made me smile actually! Then I realized today was Good Friday and Holy Week, etc. Now don't get me wrong - I love my Polish, Irish, Serbian, Dutch Netherlands, and Wales heritage... I get my upbringing (although now I do not believe in it) as Roman Catholic. It allowed me to open my eyes more as I moved away from that God-fearing, keeping up with the Jones' upbringing, celebrating things I didn't understand where it all began. Now, I am in no way an expert on Pagan history, but I love learning about it and embracing it. We all have wishes that maybe we had more freedom to learn things on our own (at least I did) and be accepted for learning new things. One of the biggest things, I was brought up to worry about what others thought (talk about horrid self-esteem) I wasn't to talk unless talked to, you sat down and shut up or get your ass whooped, others views of behaving badly were all different; just so, so much negativity as I look back on growing up. No wonder why I ended up being a fucking mess with life.
At any rate, what I learned is that you can fuck up and start again. Fear using religion should not be a way of life, and fear in general shouldn't be used to control others. I still get backlash from some family members (the ones that acknowledge me - which is not many LOL) but it's fine. They don't pay my bills, they don't know what aches and pains I deal with daily... they really don't know me at all - is it because I strayed from those RC beliefs? Possibly... do I care? Nah, but it does pinch a little. Just being honest - just like I am sure it pinches DH and the chaos of his relatives.
Our past can help us to develop ourselves and allow us to take a peek back at cycles in life - and even have the opportunity to end the vicious, negative cycles also. It just depends on what you want to do with your life. Hell, I didn't really start delving more into my craft until 2017. I did dabble prior to that for a good decade or better - but it was in secret. Now my purple hair and stickered up BMW allow me to express how I feel now. And I feel better about myself now at 46 than I did at 36.
Ok so I am working on more posts for vendor shows and such. I was watching or reading something the other day (I would suck in an interrogation because I can't remember shit anymore) talking about how your fans need you 24/7/365 so you need to post daily and such. Then I remembered in one of my classes in recent college talked about the same thing - I think it was a health social media class - I'm sure I have all the info - I remember we had to make a Twitter account and that sucked ass big time - I hate Twitter. I digress, (as usual), my point being, I am going to really work hard to provide daily musings - some days it may be a hi, I love you and a pic dump, but it's a post to show I am thinking of you all!
On that note, I love you all, Til later, and Blessed Be Loves!